Who Took The Lamp!
by ZeratheNightDancer
Summary: Sora is asked to house sit Genie's lamp for two weeks! But when the lamp disappears, what will Sora do to get it back. R&R please, flames accepted.[complete]
1. The Lamp

Disclaimer: I don't own any thing from kingdom hearts, if I did, I WOULDN'T BE WRITING THIS, I would be making the sequel to it.

**[author's notes]**

YAY!! I am making another story! Ok this is gonna be weird. But anyway, I hope you enjoy! Now...ON WITH THE FIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ch. 1:Genie's Lamp

We find our hero in Agrabah talking to Genie in Aladin's house.

"Let me get this straight, you want me to take care of your lamp while you go on vacation? Right?" Sora asked

"RIGHT!" Geine said in a booming voice. "Soooooooo, I'll see ya in two weeks!" With that said, Genie poofs to where ever he's going

After two minutes twitching Sora finally said something ,"Rriiiiiggghhhttt. Well now I guess I'd better get home." And gummi ship appears out of nowhere, and Sora gets in and goes back to Destiny Islands.

In some random dark room some where a mysterious figure in a cloak watches Sora. "Yes, my plan is going to work! In the hands of this idiot, it'll be a snap! Now, I'm gonna take a nap! VICTORY THY NAME IS RIKU!!!!!

Riku comes out of his closet, goes over to his Buzz Lightyear bed and takes his nap.

**[authors notes]**

heh heh, naughty, naughty Riku. What's he gonna do? Well you'll see. Sorry about the short chapter! DARN YOU WRITERS BLOCK!!!!!!!! Sorry you had to see that. Well I'll try to update soon!


	2. Where'd it go?

Disclaimer: I do NOT own any kingdom hearts characters etc.

**author's notes**

FINALLY! I got over my writers block! Let's just hope I don't get it again. Oh yeah, I'm sorry for not updating but no body gives me reviews. (pouts) I only want to be loved. Heh heh, just kidding. and I have nothing more to say, so on that note, TO THE STORY!!!!!!!!!!!

Where'd It Go?

"Hey Sora!" Tidus yelled from the beach. Sora was sitting on the paopu tree on the little island, with the lamp on his lap. He heard Tidus so he yelled back, "What," and headed towards him, lamp now in his hand.

"We," Tidus said gesturing to Wakka, Selphie, and himself, "wanna challenge you to a three on one match."

Sora didn't look intimidated, so he said, "Okay, I need the exercise any way." So Sora put down the lamp and went to fight the three. My opening move will be genius, Sora thought. And for his opening move he jumped into the air, did a bunch of flips and turns. When he was coming down, he headed straight for unsuspecting Tidus.

Sora didn't think this through because, well...he's , so when he was almost there, Tidus deflected it. Sora's sword was now heading for HIS head. It made contact leaving a big bump on his head. "Owie," Sora said, then fell over unconscious.

While this went on, nobody remembered the lamp, and Sora was unconscious. It was the perfect time to steal the lamp. So, Riku did. This is too easy, Riku thought.

As Riku was going to steal the lamp, he rolled around doing little spy moves around the bushes. When he finally got there, Sora was still unconscious. Riku picked up the lamp and said, "Yes I stole the lamp!!!!" Then he looked over at Sora to see if he woke him up, which he didn't. Then he whispered to himself, "Okay better be quiet so I don't wake up Sora."

Then Sora woke up, looked around, got up and said, "Who's there? I know your there...I know kung-fu!" Riku fidgeted behind the bush and made it rustle. Sora saw it and got frightened, so he ran away screaming like a little girl.

"That was disturbing," Riku said. Then he walked over to the secret place and stood in front of the door. Before he went through he said, "This better take me to Traverse Town." Then he went through. When he got to the other side, he wasn't in Traverse Town. He was at the Hallow Bastion. "DOH!"

Destiny Islands 

Sora is in his room, and in a little corner shaking in fear. Then there's a knock on his bedroom door. "NOOOOO!!!!! DON'T KILL ME!! PLEASE HAVE MERCY!!!!" Sora yells as his door opens.

"Hey," Tidus says, "I'm not here to murder you, the guy next door is." Sora looks at him with a puzzled look. "No wonder I was suspicious of him," Sora concludes.

"Any way, we wanna fight you again. But, ...oh yeah, aren't you looking after Genie's lamp," Tidus asks.

"Yeah I am. Oh... CRAP!!!!!!!!!!!!! I forgot it at the beach! I gotta go, BYE!" Sora said. And rushed out the door so fast it made a sonic BOOM!

At The Beach 

"Now where did I leave it? Oh yeah by these bushes," Sora said.

He knelt down and looked, but it wasn't there. He dug a couple inches, but it wasn't there either. He dug 20 feet down in the sand, he broke a world record but still didn't find the lamp.

"Crap! Genie's gonna kill me! Must. Go. Find. Lamp!" Sora rushes of to the door in the secret place and...

_to be continued_

**author's notes **heh heh heh, I love torturing you. Okay, um, crap I have nothing to say. Except that you'll have to wait till the next chapter to find out what's up with Sora, why Riku stole the lamp, and why can't I get my yogurt! Um, sorry. Don't make fun of me if I can't find my yogurt. Well I'll look for it later. Please R&R, flames accepted. (please, I'm DESPRATE!)


	3. Many Disturbing Things

A/N

'Ello peeps! Yea, I'm a little hyper. Just a little. Okay, new chappie right below, if you don't wanna read this just skip it and read on. Woot! Right, now, I'm gonna get… MY YOGURT! Yes I found it then lost it…..again. I lost after two bites. Me was so sad!!! Oh well, go read the story now.

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_Many Disturbing Things_

_**In Hallow Bastion**_

"Man, I really thought it would take me to Traverse Town. Oh, well this will have to do. Sora did a number on this place," Riku said as a part of the castle randomly popped off, and flew off into the sunset. "Oookaaay." Ansem appears through a portal behind Riku, who doesn't notice because he is twitching again.

"Hello Riku," Ansem said in a really creepy voice.

Riku turned around and said, "Um, hi. Wait, aren't you supposed to be dead….AHHHHHH!!!!! CREEPY ZOMBIE ANSEM!!!!!!!"

Ansem rolled his eyes. "Yes I'm supposed to be dead, but I'm not, okay?"

"NO! Not okay! You're going to possess me again aren't you?" Riku pointed a finger at Ansem accusingly.

"No Riku, I'm not. I just want that lamp of yours is all," Ansem said in a strangely friendly way.

Riku looked from the lamp to Ansem then back to the lamp. "YOU WILL NEVER HAVE PETE!" he yelled, and then ran away. (**A/N** yes, Riku has named the lamp Pete, don't ask why though, you are not worthy enough to know what goes on in the confines of my twisted mind.)

Then a magical white light appears next to Ansem. The light dims to reveal Sora. "Ummm," he said as he saw Ansem staring at him, "I didn't do it. My mom made me eat spinach!" Ansem raised an eyebrow. "Sure," he said then ran away. "I think I know him… oh well. Now, I must find the lamp!!!!" Sora said as he walked on.

At the Waterway below Hallow Bastion 

"Ewww, dirty sewers!" Riku said holding the lamp high above the murky water. "Why am I here? I have to go to the Traverse Town, and this is, like, the complete opposite of where I need to be." Then Riku heard some footsteps coming in his direction, so he hid behind a wall, and waited. It was Squall, or better known as Leon, who rounded the corner and was attacked by Riku. "Gimmie your gummi ship!!!" Riku yelled while biting his ear.

Leon had a big anime sweat drop on his head. "Um, Riku…you do know that you just have to ask me for a ship, and not attack me. The ship is out in the back"

Riku climbed off of Leon and said, "I know you want the lamp! Well you can't have it. I already stole it, and it's mine!!!!!" Then he ran off in the direction Leon pointed out. After Riku left, Sora walked in.

"Hey Leon! Have you seen-" Sora started, but was cut off by a very disturbed Leon. "He went that way," Leon said. "And he has the lamp with him. Go borrow a gummi ship too if you want." Then he walked away.

"What's his problem?" Sora asked himself and walked off to where the gummi ships were.

At The Gummi Ship Garage 

"Stupid keys," Riku said fumbling around trying to find the right one. "Grr… Why can't I find the right one!? There's only three keys!" Then he looked over at a table and found an odd shaped key. Then he walked over, picked it up, tried to find the keyhole to put it in, and learned that the gummi ship doesn't open with a key. "Yes!" he cried out in victory, even though he was only in the gummi ship. "I have finally mastered the art of opening and closing a gummi ship door!!!!!!!!!"

So, now that Riku has finally learned how to use a gummi ship, he flies off to Traverse Town just before Sora walks in.

"I finally made it," said Sora panting. Then he looked back down the corridor, and sees he only went 3 ½ feet from where Leon was standing. Sora tuened back around and said, "Anyway, I must now find a suitable gummi ship for my journey." And with that, he goes off to find a suitable gummi ship.

_**Two Hours Later**_

"okay, I think I'll take that one!" Sora said as he stars walking over to it. But a random salesperson comes out of nowhere and says, "That will be 5000 munny witnout the warranty, but with the 0 financing."

"What!" Sora said, appalled at what the salesperson said. "I thought they were free! And they better be, or I will have to use my kung-fu on you!" He gets into a kung-fu-battle-ready pose. Then suddenly, the salesperson leaps at Sora with amazing skill of a kung-fu master.

"So," said a random guy in a black suit, "now that Sora is engaged in a battle with a salesperson, Riku is able to get to Traverse Town without the hurry." The camera goes to the gummi ship Riku is in.

"Stupid heartless blocking the road to Traverse Town," Riku said while beeping his horn. "Move it, or lose it buddy! Yea that's right you…" The camera turns back to the man in the black suit.

"Or maybe not. In any case," The man in the black suit said as the screen turns black and white, "this could only happen in, the Twi-" He is cut off by and angry mob of people.

_To be continued…_

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**A/N**

So…do you like, do you like!?!?!?!? This literally took me forever to write. My Internet keeps shutting off, so I haven't been able to do much. Anyway, please R&R. If you don't review, I won't update. Deal…deal. Not like you have much choice though. Oh well.


	4. Finding what was once lostI think

**A/N:** YES! I am finally making another chapter. I'm sorry if this isn't really very funny, but hey, I'm trying my best. Warning: this may be a very short chapter or just a plain short chapter. Oh well, live with it. Now please enjoy!

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**Finding what was once lost…I think…**

Riku stepped off the gummi ship. "Whew, I thought I would never make it," said Riku. He had finally made it to Traverse Town. "I will soon have all I ever wanted! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Riku laughed insanely, while other people around him stared thinking 'Why do all the weird people come here?'. Riku finally ended his 'evil' manic laugh, and continued onward to, uh…wherever he is, uh…going. Yea! So anyway, he went down to the waterway that Leon is usually in, because he wanted to look at the 'pretty' picture at the end of the tunnel.

**Back with Sora**

The salesperson turned kung-fu master was just about o land a kick on Sora when time suddenly stopped, and Sora started jumping up into a crouching position in the air in slow motion. The camera circled them five times before the salesperson said, "Ah the heck with this, I'm going to go eat my tuna fish casserole." And with that he landed gracefully on the ground and turned to leave. Unfortunately for him, when he reached the door a brick fell on his head. "Tuesday's… applesauce day," he said in a daze.

"Hey! How's he know my lunch schedule?" said Sora, who happened to still be hanging in the air. Suddenly the wires that were holding him up snapped and he fell face first on the ground. "Ow," he moaned. Then, suddenly he jumped up and struck a 'heroly' pose and said, "Come Robin to the Bat Cave!"

A young boy dressed as Robin jumped out from behind a rock. "But Batman, this isn't the Bat Cave!" he said in a fake panic.

"I know," said Sora. "And I know that you are not Robin, Robin… I mean Tidus! I also know that I LIKE PUDDING!"

Suddenly the boy took his mask off to reveal Tidus underneath. "But how did you know!" he asked desperately.

"Because this is not the Bat Cave, and I am not Batman," Sora said in a heroic voice.

Tidus gasped. "Hey! You know what you are? You're a big fat phony!" he yelled in an angry voice.

Sora just walked away, and back to the gummi ship he was going to use. When he got there, Tidus was spraying painting the word phony on the gummi ship. "PHONY!" he yelled one last time, then ran away. Sora sweat dropped, then walked onto the gummi ship.

"Now to Traverse Town! I shall find the fiend, who stole Genie's lamp, and then…we shall play a game of twister, skip and frolic through the flowers, and then…I shall get the lamp back! Bwhahahahahahahahaha!" he yelled to the sky.

**Back at Traverse Town**

Riku had been staring at the 'pretty picture' for a while now. Then suddenly a light appeared at the center of it. "Pretty light! Yes, must go towards the light," Riku said in a daze while walking toward the 'pretty lights'. Then the light disappeared and Yuffie walked in the cave.

"Um, yea…hi. Uh, do know where-" she started to say but was cut off by Riku yelling, "MINE!" and running out of the cave. She sweat dropped, "I was just asking if you knew where Leon was, geez." And with that, she too left the cave, leaving the pretty lights, and pretty picture behind.

Riku suddenly stopped running and yelled, "TACO!" at top of his lungs. All the people within hearing range (which was everyone in Traverse Town) stop and think once again to themselves, why do all the weird people come here? And as if he had read all of their minds, Riku said, "I'm not weird! I'm unique, just like everyone else!"

"Shut up weirdo!" yelled a random person from a random window.

"I WILL NOT BE SILENCED!" Riku yelled back, and then ran into the gizmo shop.

**With Sora**

"All righty then," said Sora as he stepped into Traverse Town, "where, oh where could he be?" Then he thought for a moment remembering a song. "Oh where, oh where could my puppy have gone, oh where, oh where could he beeeeeee? With his ears cut short and his tail cut long…oh screw it." He stopped singing and walked away towards the Second District.

When he got there, he decided to ask if anyone has seen Riku, …or the Muffin Man. Whichever one came first. And so, he walked up to a fire hydrant because he stupidly mistook it for a person. "Hello, he you seen my friend Riku? He has a lamp that doesn't belong to him, and I really need to get it back," he started. He waited a few moments for it to answer, then said, "That's okay, take your time."

He stood there for two more minutes, then cried out in anguish, "Why won't you answer me?" He stood there for few more moments, and then said, "Fine, be that way" and left the fire hydrant. Silently a lone tear fell down where the fire hydrant would have had a face if it did. Oh, wait; there was just a leak in the side of it…never mind.

Finally Sora found an actual person instead of an inanimate object who told him Riku was in the gizmo place. He started towards the building, when Riku randomly fell off the roof and onto some person's mom. "Hey, at least I landed on this nice soft mom!" he said then looked up to see Sora coming towards him. He screamed like a sissy and yelled, "RAPE!" then threw a piece of wood that randomly appeared in his hand. The wood hit something else, which deflected it back at Riku, and hit him square in the head. He fell back unconscious.

"Huh, that was easy," Sora stated, and walked over to Riku to get the lamp back. Suddenly, Riku woke up and yelled "MINE" while clutching the lamp to his chest. Sora hit him upside the head and said, "No…no, bad Riku. Put the shiny lamp down." Riku put the lamp's handle in his mouth, got on all fours, and started growling like a dog. Then Sora grabbed the lamp, and began to try and pull it free from Riku's mouth. "Bad Riku," he said in between tugs, "let go of the shiny lamp." It became a tug of war game for the lamp.

Then, the room changed into a game show room, and Sora and Riku were behind a very small table that could only fit a big, shiny, red button. An announcer dude walked up onto a platform in the middle of the room and said in a loud announcer voice, "Welcome to…

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**A/N:** What show is it? Why are they playing? What are they playing for? Who will win? And most importantly, why am I asking all these questions? I…have no idea why I am asking these questions, but you will find the answers in the next chapter! IMPORTANT MESSAGE: there will only be one or two more chapters to this story. I am giving you a warning ahead of time, so you hopefully will not flame me. Although they are very useful for making smores. **R&R** please! 


	5. Cherry Pie, Therapy, and Turtles

**A/N:** YESH! I have finally decided to make another chapter! Woot! ….anywho, I don't know if this will be the last chapter or not, but we shall see! Enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** I would like to own KH, but I don't. But someday I will, and you shall all bow down to me! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA(cough, hack, wheeze)….yeah whatever.

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**Cherry Pie, Therapy, and Turtles**

"Welcome to…Lamp Trivia! The game where you answer questions about the Genie's magical lamp. Who ever has the most points at the end of the game wins the lamp!" the announce dude (I'm gonna call him Bob) said. A table rose in the background that had the lamp on it. Bob turned to Sora and Riku, who was still acting like a dog for some reason.

"You will compete by answering questions, and doing some weird task when I say so!" he said, and then he turned to the audience that had randomly just appeared. "Now let's get started! Question number 1: how many time do you have to rub the lamp to make the genie appear?"

The boys thought for a moment before Sora bashed his head on the big, red button causing it to beep. "1924!" he shouted.

"Oh, so sorry but that is incorrect! Sora, please come here to receive your task!" Bob said motioning for Sora to come to him. Sora skipped merrily down to the center of the stage singing 'Mary Had a Little Lamb' the whole way over there.

"Ooooooookay," Bob said. "Alright Sora, for your task, you must find me……….a cherry pie within the next three minutes."

"Alright you Anouncerness!" Sora shouted. He then proceeded to skip out of the building to go find a cherry pie. The three minutes were almost up and Sora hadn't come back yet.

"3…2…1…ze-" the crowd was cut off by the stage door slamming open. The light faded and there stood Sora with the cherry pie. He skipped (yes, he's still skipping) up to Bob and handed him the pie.

"Here you are, straight from the deli down the street," he said.

"Don't deli shops sell meat, not pies?" Riku asked.

"Um, no…they sell pies, you people just don't know it yet!" Sora shouted.

"Well, sorry Sora, because you handed me the pie too late, meaning that Riku has won the lamp!" Bob said, shaking Riku's hand.

"Thank you! Thank you! Thank you everybody!" Riku said as he slowly walk over to the lamp.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Sora shouted, jumping over the lamp, grabbing it, and bursting out of a window. Riku ran after him. Bungee cords magically appeared on them, and they 'ran' down the side of the building. Riku took out two water guns he had been hiding for some reason and began shooting at Sora. He continued shooting at Sora, but none of the water was hitting Sora. Then they paused in mid-air.

"You have really bad aim you know that Riku?" Sora asked.

"So! Just because I can't hit you doesn't mean I have bad aim!" Riku shouted back

"Uh….yes it does," Sora replied.

"Oh yeah? Take this!" Riku said, and he shot Sora's bungee cord. The water hit, and the cord snapped.

"Wow, I didn't know water could do that," Sora said, still paused in mid-air.

"Me neither," Riku replied. Riku looked back up at the window to see a shadow heartless cutting his bungee cord.

"Oh sht" Riku said. And then both of them began to hurtle towards the ground.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

They got closer and closer until…they landed in a truck full of pillows.

"Well, that was lucky!" Sora said, sitting up.

"You got that right girlfriend!" Riku said, snapping his fingers in a Z shape. Sora inched away from Riku, and then jumped out of the truck with Riku following. Then Tidus and Wakka jumped out too.

"That was fun!" Tidus yelled.

"Let's go again, let's go again!" Wakka said, spinning around in circles like the gay person his is.

"Alright!" Tidus shouted and they ran back into the nearby building. Sora and Riku twitched, but eventually they got over it.

"Alrighty then. Let's go back to Destiny Islands," Sora said.

"And leave them here?" Riku asked. Sora nodded slowly. "Alright then, what are we waiting for?"

"Yeah!" Sora said, running over to his gummi ship.

**(Meanwhile with Genie)**(ha! You thought I wouldn't do something like this did you? Ha!)

Genie lay, tanning his blue skin (though I don't know how that would work), after a long day of visiting Disney World. He took a sip of his pina collata.

"Ah, nothing like a nice cool drink after a long day of fun," he said. He was silent, and amazingly no one else made a sound. Well, actually, no one was even there.

"This is boring," Genie whined. Then a therapist appeared, and Genie was now on one of those couch/bed thingys.

"And how does that make you feel?" the therapist asked. Genie replied.

"Uh-huh. Mmhm, I see. Yep, I get it now," the therapist went on. Genie was beginning to get impatient.

"Whatever, it's boring here so I'm going home! Here…I….go!" Genie said, blasting him self off to Destiny Islands. The whole way he was singing 'I Can Fly, I Can Fly, I Can Fly'. (You know, that song from Peter Pan?)

**(With Sora and Riku)**

"This is a great party!" Riku said.

"Yeah! There's only one problem," Sora replied.

"What?" Riku asked.

"It's too cramped in here," Sora said, trying to move. They were inside the Genie's lamp. They heard a poof outside, so they got out of the lamp. There they saw Genie looking around for Sora.

"Sora! Oh Sora! Where aaaaaaarrrrrrrrrreeeeee youuuuuuuuuuuuu?" Genie shouted, looking around. Sora and Riku dove behind a bush before Genie could spot them, taking the lamp with them.

"Okay, here's the plan," Sora said.

"Uh, what plan? And what's it for anyway?" Riku asked confused.

"…………………….I donno," replied Sora, also confused, but at himself. "Wait, weren't you trying to steal the lamp?"

"I was, but now I'm going after the Holy Grail," Riku said simply.

"Oooooooooooooohhhhhhh," Sora said. "I think it's under Kairi's bed. I'll help you look later."

Genie heard them and walked over to them. "Hey guys!" he said.

"AHHHHHHHHHH! FREAKY BLUE GUY!" Sora yelled, chucking a rock at Genie's head. It hit, and Genie fell over unconscious.

"Um, Sora? That was Genie, and he just said hello. You didn't need to throw a rock at his head," Riku said. Then the rock magically turned into a turtle. He went over and slapped Riku.

"Who you callin' a rock, fool?" it said, and then slowly made it's way back to the ocean.

"PRETTY TURTLE! Let's make turtle soup!" Sora said. Genie revived, and sat up quickly.

"Turtle soup! Where?" he yelled with excitement.

"Dude, it's over here," Riku said, making the turtle soup over a random stove that was on the beach. "It's ready, so let's eat!"

And so they all ate turtle soup, and talked merrily about things. The next day Genie left with his lamp, and Riku and Sora looked for the Holy Grail under Kairi's bed. Everything was great until Sora lost his muffin.

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**A/N:** Sorry it's short, but this is the last chapter. Please R&R. 


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